My Journey To Finding Love At Almost 46 Wasn’t A Smooth Sail
Julian Michaels’ journey to finding love wasn’t as smooth sailing as she had hoped. For a girl who nailed her colours firmly to the mast, it was a sink or swim situation.
Mrs Michaels came from a background where love, giving and caring were premium. These values were so ingrained that they were all she knew to give.
The telemedicine company worker was quick to point out that although she was surrounded by love growing up, she was aware that some might not have been as lucky.
”But you see, other people may not have been so lucky. They might have been abused one way or the other and have struggled through life with the challenges thereof, and may not be privy to the upbringing you have.”
Some of them go on to inflict hurt on others because you can’t give what you don’t have, as the saying goes.
“So, I experienced the good, bad and ugly…lol,” she adds.
In all this, Michaels promised herself that she would maintain a positive outlook no matter what life threw at her.
And her resolve put her faith and belief to the test.
Would you believe that a good thing like your peers getting married or having babies could be used as defamatory weapons against you by society if you’re still single at a certain age?
Your peers are deemed responsible, happy, and successful because they are perceived to have settled down.
On the other hand, you are vilified for your singleness regardless of what the reasons might be.
The snide remarks made at you and the weight of loneliness hovering over your head are especially palpable as you head into your mid 40’s.
Nonetheless, Michaels discovered that the secret to standing firm in the face of your trials was having faith in God.
While You Wait, Give God Your Time
She recalled that she kept herself busy in God’s vineyard as she waited.
And as the years went by, she persisted in His presence.
Well …in my waiting, years passed… 20s, 30s, 40s, and heading to my mid-40s, I served God. I worked in his vineyard, gave him time, my resources which honestly cannot measure for the love and faithfulness of God.
As she served Him, she held firmly to His promises concerning marriage and prayed continuously about it.
Waiting Was Also A Time For Preparation For Marriage
”In my waiting, God was also preparing me and opening my eyes to the treasures and secrets of a ‘successful marriage’,” said Michaels.
She further advised that if you want to get married, you must be open and ready.
Marriage is not a rosy garden. You must be ready to love, submit, forgive, give, share, pray, make mistakes, and learn from them. I was mentally ready for marriage.”
Julian Michaels journey to finding love at almost 46 is a story that only the Divine could orchestrate, and no one can tell it better than her.
Julian Michaels narrates her story…
My Man Finally Showed Up
Few months before my 46th birthday, I met this young man through my friend. We became friends and shared experiences.
I made it clear that I wasn’t available for a relationship that wasn’t going to be fruitful. Luckily, he was also ready for marriage.
In the third month of our relationship, he proposed , and we started planning for our wedding.
It was like a dream.
Pregnant After Five Months Of Marriage
The long-awaited marriage came, and the next thing was children.
As humans, we worry about everything.
I had told God about all my fears in my waiting days, including having children at that age and the kind of man I wanted as a husband.
Five months after the wedding, we fell pregnant. The pregnancy was eventful. I bled so much that my doctor ordered me to stop work at once.
Pregnant With Twins
I used to work in a hospital, so one day, I asked the gynaecologist to examine me. He obliged and asked me to come over.
He told me he could see a second sac during the examination, implying there could be more than one baby.
I laughed and told him I had done several scans, and it was just one.
He then asked me to come back after two weeks.
When I returned, he rechecked me and asked me to come back in another two weeks.
I went back to him after a fortnight for the third time to be checked by him.
It was after that it became evident to me that there were two heartbeats!
Congratulations, Julian, you are pregnant with twins!!”
I couldn’t get down from the couch. I asked my husband to take me to my doctor to share the news.
When he saw the scan results, he wanted a second opinion.
He referred me to another diagnostic centre for a scan and said: ”If Dr Kuti confirms you are pregnant with twins, then I will believe.”
Bang!! We were at Dr Kuti’s. We did the scan, and he confirmed that I was pregnant with twins!
At 34 weeks, the doctor had to bring the babies out because I was struggling.
I had my twin babies few weeks after my 47th birthday.
I suffered A Cardiac Arrest
On the day of my Caesarean Section ( CS), I was prepared and taken to the theatre.
The doctor started, and the first baby was announced, it’s a girl; I raised my hands and said: ”Thank you, Jesus.”
Barely five minutes later, the second baby came, and it was a boy. I raised my hands and said: “Thank you, Jesus.”
Shortly after, I passed out. I had suffered a cardiac arrest!!
God is Faithful
My husband, looking through the theatre door opening, wondered why they had to give me CPR.
He became confused at that moment and went to stay with the babies in that state, reassuring them and praying that their mum will be okay.
I was eventually resuscitated by God’s grace. Hallelujah!
I was hospitalised most of the time and he was there all through. We don’t have it all, but we look unto God for his perfection.
My Mother Told Me…
My mother once told me something about marriage. She likened it to a wrapped gift. When you open it, accept it, and live with it.
Humans, including me, are like seeds and chaff. You put them in a tray and blow away the chaff. The seeds you keep are the good values of your partner/yourself.”
She explained that the chaff represents the bad attitudes that you have to overlook and pray about.
She further noted that the seeds are the values required to sustain your marriage.
The Joy Of Motherhood
The joy of motherhood is indescribable! You have to experience it to be able to share the incredible experience.
Nothing puts a calm, genuine smile on your face like your children.
Motherhood will teach you the virtues of love, patience, forgiveness, discipline and so on.
As much as your children give you so much joy, there are times you feel like pulling their ears and screaming.
It is vital to ensure there is balance in showing love and in disciplining children.
As a mother, you don’t want anyone to smack, shout at your kids and all that, but it takes a village to train a child in our African setting.
One Final Word
Married life hasn’t been smooth sailing, but in all, God has been our guide, our peace, our provider, and everything!
My advice to women, especially those waiting to get married or have children, is to be patient and to know that God is never too late.
At the appointed time, if only you believe, He will show up for you!
You have to be ready to forgive because even you will need forgiveness from your husband. You have to be a helpmate, learn to give and share.
Comparing your marriage with others is a no-no. You don’t even know what they are going through.
While waiting, Pray! Praise! Serve God!
Keep an open mind, and the Almighty will show up for you! Shalom!
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